Take control by letting go of it

One of the biggest examples of the disservice done by modern-day "self help" movements is the fallacy that we can (and should) control every aspect of our lives. Please don't misunderstand, I am a major advocate of personal responsibility and accountability, but the key word is "personal".  One of the most basic life lessons is also one of the hardest to accept, that the only person we can change is ourselves.  Too often, we've come to believe that taking responsibility for our own lives means controlling circumstances, and people, over which we have no control.

It's not until we learn to truly let go of the things we cannot control, by learning to accept "what is", that we can be free to make the choices that will define our lives.  There is something so liberating about letting go of the need to control others.  Not only is it healthier for us, but it's healthier for them too in the long run.  By letting others accept the consequences of their actions (or lack of action), hopefully they will learn and grow as a result.  At the same time, refusing to accept responsibility for controlling what we cannot saves time and emotional energy that we can use for things that we can influence.

Whether it's a spouse, friend, boss or child, try letting go of the need to control the situation that's frustrating you.  Accept it for what it is, knowing that your only true options are to accept the reality of it or to remove yourself from the situation.  Not sure which to do?  That's okay.  Unless the situation is life threatening, you probably don't need to make a final decision today.  So, for now, simply decide to stop pushing against the weight of it and take time to rest.