I've always prided myself on being one who sees the glass as being half full rather than half empty. No matter what the circumstances, I've always been able to find the silver lining and convince myself that happier days were right around the corner.
In recent weeks I've come to question that strategy. I'm beginning to wonder if as a society we do ourselves a disservice by insisting that presenting a positive spin to the world, and to ourselves, is the only appropriate way to get through a difficult period in our lives.
Why do we think less of people who are unable to remain upbeat and optimistic when their lives are falling apart around them? Why do we rush to repeat callous cliches like "It could be worse," "This too shall pass," or "Nobody said life was fair"? Have those declarations, and others like them, ever made any person feel any better? It's doubtful.
How many times have we been told, or told our children, that if we study hard, play by all the rules, and do our best, that we can do and be anything? I'm certain there are countless un- and under-employed people with advanced degrees who'd beg to differ. The world is full of people who have studied hard, worked hard, withstood the odds, done their best, and still can't find a decent job.
How often have we perpetrated the myth of Cinderella and her dashing Prince, convincing our precious daughters, and our own wounded selves, that if we are loving enough, patient enough, or giving enough, our Prince will come and we'll live happily ever after. The world is full of wonderful, loving, caring people, both men and women, whose hearts have been broken time and time again.
I understand the philosophy behind positive thinking, and I can clearly see the downside of thinking negatively, but why must the only two options be the extremes? While expecting the worst all the time would be terribly depressing, most of us know that our worst fears rarely come to fruition, which means that we're bound to be pleasantly surprised at least some of the time. On the other hand, constantly expecting the best, only to be disappointed time and time again, gets to be terribly depressing after a while too.
Here's a novel concept. Instead of wasting time trying to figure out whether I should be perceiving the glass as half empty or half full, maybe I'll just see the glass as it is. And the next time I want to "help" someone who's feeling down about their circumstances to snap out of it, I'll simply let them know I hear them and wish them well.
UPDATE: I wrote this post yesterday. Today I was reading posts on a writer forum I belong to and a woman wrote that she had just been diagnosed with a rapidly metastasizing form of breast cancer. A well-meaning person wrote back "Just remember... this too shall pass." I'm sure the guy didn't mean it the way it sounded, but when someone is fighting a potentially fatal disease, does it really help to remind them that this too shall PASS? This is exactly what I'm talking about. Why is it that we've become so quick to put a positive spin on everything, no matter how difficult or painful, that we lose common sense and decency?
UPDATE: I wrote this post yesterday. Today I was reading posts on a writer forum I belong to and a woman wrote that she had just been diagnosed with a rapidly metastasizing form of breast cancer. A well-meaning person wrote back "Just remember... this too shall pass." I'm sure the guy didn't mean it the way it sounded, but when someone is fighting a potentially fatal disease, does it really help to remind them that this too shall PASS? This is exactly what I'm talking about. Why is it that we've become so quick to put a positive spin on everything, no matter how difficult or painful, that we lose common sense and decency?
Photo by Mr. Keef
