2010 started with such great hope and optimism. While it got off to a good start, my enthusiasm for a great year didn't last long. From a potentially blinding eye problem resulting in major surgery, to the complicated and confusing end of an important relationship, to saying good-bye to a small business I'd run for nearly 10 years, 2010 was a year of endings.
This season of grief has been overwhelming at times, but it has not been without its opportunities for growth. I've learned a lot in the midst of the storm.
Things are not always as they seem. Nothing made this point clearer than undergoing cataract surgery in July 2009, followed by emergency surgery for a detached retina only six months later. What we see with our eyes is rarely all there is. Life would be so much richer if we could see our lives the way God sees them.
God is teaching us things even when He seems silent. It would be wonderful if God called us on our cell phones or sent a text message when He had something important to say to us. Unfortunately, He doesn't work that way. God is communicating with us all the time, it's just harder to hear Him and know what to do when He seems silent. But, it's during those times of silence that it's more important than ever to strive even harder for an intimate, personal relationship with Him.
Growth requires letting go. Situations and people enter our lives for a reason, and usually only for a season. Rarely does a situation or a relationship last forever. Part of maturing is learning to acknowledge that as we change, our needs and our priorities change as well. We can be thankful for the learning opportunities that were provided when we needed them, yet still be prepared to gracefully move on when they are no longer working for us. Periodically we need to reexamine our lives and take an honest inventory of whether the things and people we surround ourselves with our helping or hindering our spiritual and emotional growth. We need to nurture and develop those things that are healthy, and gracefully let go of those that are not.
Sometimes acceptance is more important than rationalization. Sometimes we can analyze and rationalize ourselves into knots, expending countless time and energy but never resolving the issue that challenges us. I'm learning that understanding the what and why of a situation is not nearly as important as accepting the reality that it exists and moving forward accordingly.
If the shoe doesn't fit, maybe it's the wrong size. Many of us go through life wearing other peoples' expectations, goals, and dreams, all the while thinking that they are our own. If things just aren't working for us, or if we've achieved the trappings of success that we thought we wanted, only to find that something is still missing, maybe it's because we're not being true to our most authentic selves.
Despite facing one challenge and/or disappointment after another in 2010, I am thankful for the lessons I learned and the clarity I received about some things that have been troubling me for some time. Perhaps most importantly, even though 2010 didn't turn out the way I'd hoped, I made it through and I'm entering 2011 with an even greater sense of hope and optimism for the New Year.
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